Thursday, February 20, 2014

Must Read interview you will enjoy it

One mind blowing interview read it completly.

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I ...am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology.

Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can not invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it .

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus
corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative.

Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education it self was so much of pain!!

Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platforms. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up w it h a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’, ‘quality’, ‘version control’, ‘deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand..
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer : he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS.

The fellow was appointed in a newly created section ‘Stress Management’ in the HRD of Infosys.

So Excellence is not the only thing Needed. Its the Unique Quality of a Person which can let anyone to Success. Work on Your own Field rather then following somebody else's Path

Sunday, February 9, 2014

YOU WILL SURELY BELIVE THAT RAMAYNA WAS TRUE

YOU WILL SURELY BELIVE THAT RAMAYNA WAS TRUE

You Must Watch That Video as it provides strength to your belives








Saturday, February 8, 2014

Ultimate Bargain

 ๐Ÿ“Œultimate bargain.        

A Man telephones a Dentist to inquire about the cost for tooth extraction.

Dentist: Rs 850 Sir.

Man : Rs 850!!! Too much! Don't you have anything cheaper?

Dentist: That's the normal charge, Sir.

Man: What if you don't use any anesthetic?

Dentist: That's unusual, Sir, but can be done and will cut the cost by Rs 150.

Man : Ok. And what if you deploy one of your trainee-dentists to do the extraction, without anesthetic?

Dentist: Well, I cannot guarantee professionalism and it also would be painful. But the price could drop down to Rs 400.

Man: Hmm. What if you make it like a training-session, like one of your students does the extraction, while the other students watch and learn?

Dentist: It'll be good for the students but quite traumatic. I will charge you Rs 50 for it.

Man: Now you're talking! Ok, it's a deal. Can I confirm an appointment for my mother-in-law for tomorrow then?

Very True

 Very True Saying ..
"เคจींเคฆ เคคो เคฌเคšเคชเคจ เคฎें เค†เคคी เคฅी ,

เค…เคฌ เคคो เคฌเคธ เคฅเค• เค•เคฐ เคธो เคœाเคคे เคนै "


Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko
ek plane mein bithaya gaya..

Fir announce kiya gaya ki
YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI”

Sab profesrs utar gaye…
Par principal baithe rahe

Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?

Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai.

Ye start hi nahi hoga!!



Awesome Jokes

1.Aftr Drinking:

Men talk Unnecessarily,
Become Emotional,
Drive Badly,
Stop Thinking,
Fight for Nothing,

Women Can do all this Without Drinking!!!
Natural Talent....!!!

 2.
A couple never fought in 25 years.

A friend asked: how did you make it possible?

Husband: we went to Paris for our honeymoon, while horse riding my wife's horse jumped and she fell down.

She got up and patted the horse's back and said this is your 1st time

After a while it happened again and my wife said this your 2nd time ,

when it happened 3rd time, my wife took out the gun and shot the horse..!

I shouted: You PSYCHO you killed the horse.

She gave me a grave look and said this is your 1st time!


And since then we have never fought.

Swarag Maa ki Charno mein

 เคเค• เคŸीเคšเคฐ เคจे เคฎเคœाเค• เคฎें เคฌเคš्เคšो เคธे เค•เคนा
เคœो เคฌเคš्เคšा เค•เคฒ เคธ्เคตเคฐ्เค— เคธे เคฎिเคŸ्เคŸी เคฒाเคฏेเค—ा, เคฎैं
เค‰เคธे เค‡เคจाเคฎ เคฆूँเค—ी..!
เค…เค—เคฒे เคฆिเคจ เคŸीเคšเคฐ เค•्เคฒाเคธ เคฎें เคธเคฌ เคฌเคš्เคšों เคธे
เคชूเค›เคคी เคนै.
เค•्เคฏा เค•ोเคˆ เคฌเคš्เคšा เคฎिเคŸ्เคŸी เคฒाเคฏा?
เคธाเคฐे เคฌเคš्เคšे เค–ाเคฎोเคถ เคฐเคนเคคे เคนैं...
เคเค• เคฌเคš्เคšा เค‰เค เค•เคฐ เคŸीเคšเคฐ เค•े เคชाเคธ เคœाเคคा เคนै
เค”เคฐ เค•เคนเคคा เคนै,
เคฒीเคœिเคฏे เคฎैเคกเคฎ, เคฎैं เคฒाเคฏा เคนूँ เคธ्เคตเคฐ्เค— เคธे
เคฎिเคŸ्เคŸी..!
เคŸीเคšเคฐ เค‰เคธ เคฌเคš्เคšे เค•ो เคกांเคŸเคคे เคนुเค เค•เคนเคคी เคนै;
เคฎुเคे เคฌेเคตเค•ूเคซ़ เคธเคฎเคเคคा เคนै..เค•เคนाँ เคธे เคฒाเคฏा เคนै เคฏे
เคฎिเคŸ्เคŸी..?
.
.
.
เคฐोเคคे เคฐोเคคे เคฌเคš्เคšा เคฌोเคฒा -" เคฎेเคฐी เคฎाँ เค•े
เคชैเคฐों เค•े เคจीเคšे เคธे.......!!

A msg from a wife:

A msg from a wife:


Once I had to walk on a bridge. It was very high and I got scared. I saw my better half on the other side, and called him for help, but he didn't come. He said he was busy with something more important and I should learn to manage my way.



I felt bad but with tears somehow I managed and crossed the bridge.

There... I saw him holding the end of the broken bridge..!
Sometimes you think why your husband is keeping quiet. He may not help you to cross the bridge... But he might be holding the broken bridge for you when you lost trust on ur strength ..!!

That's a HUSBAND........ Pass it to all those who believe in these words & who admire the silent support and guidance

Killer shayaris......

 Killer shayaris.......
Using ur brain is strictly & very strictly prohibited..





1) Na jaan Na pehchaan,
Tu mera mehmaan,
And the award goes to A.R.Rehman
 ๐ŸŽผ..





2) Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, Rubber de Rubber
๐Ÿ“Š..






3) Teri adao pe mein waari waari,
Dial 139 for railway enquiry...

๐Ÿš‹๐Ÿš‹






4) Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf,
The number you are trying is currently switched off
..






5) Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo,
Naya godrej powder hair dye,
Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo..






6) Yuh khamosh reh kar tadpogi kabtak,
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK
..





7) Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,
Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,
Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu...





8) Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,
Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,
LIFEBUOY hai jahan Tandurusti hai wahan...





9) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,
BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna
....





10) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala
..!!




11) Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,
Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,
Asali Masale Sach Sach
MDH.....MDH ...!!



12) Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,
Didi Tera Devar Deewana..




13) Naach Bulbul Naach, tujhe paisa milega
Hum CID se hai, Koi apne jagah se nahi hilega...!!

๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

HUSBAND SENT AN SMS TO WIFE:

HUSBAND SENT AN SMS TO WIFE:

Thanks for making my life wonderful
and being a part of my life. What
ever I am is only because of u, u r
my angel thanks for coming in my
life and making it worth living.
You're Great.
SHE REPLIED : pee li na ? Ab chup
chap ghar aa jao..
DARO MAT..
KUCHH NAHI BOLUNGI..! !
Husband: Thank you.

Once, a Bengali Babu went to Gulzar Sahib to learn Shayari..

Once, a Bengali Babu went to Gulzar Sahib to learn Shayari..

Gulzar Sahib asked the Bengali babu to repeat after him:

"Na Gila Karunga,
Na Shikwa Karunga...
Tu Salaamat Rahe is duniya me ,
Rab Se Yahi Dua Karunga."

The Bengali Babu repeated:

"Na Geela Korega,
Na Sukha Korega....
Tum Saala, Mat Raho is Duniya me ,
Rob Se Yehi Dua Korega"


Gulzar saheb fainted !!!

Santa always Rocks

 เคเค• เคฆिเคจ เคธंเคคा เค…เคชเคจे เค˜เคฐ เค•ी เคฒाเค‡เคŸ เค ीเค• เค•เคฐ เคฐเคนा เคฅा. เคคเคญी เค‰เคธเคจे เค…เคชเคจी เคฌीเคตी เค•ो เค†เคตाเคœ़ เคฒเค—ाเคˆं.

เคธंเคคाเค“ เคชเคช्เคชू เค•ी เคฎाँ …. เคธुเคจเคคी เคนो !

เคฌीเคตीเค•्เคฏा เคนै ?

เคธंเคคाเคœ़เคฐा เค‡เคงเคฐ เคคो เค†เค“

เคฌीเคตीเคฒो เค† เค—เคˆ, เค…เคฌ เคฌोเคฒो ?

เคธंเคคाเคฏे เคฆो เคคाเคฐ เคนैं, เคœ़เคฐा เค‡เคจเคฎे เคธे เค•ोเคˆ เคเค• เคนाเคฅ เคฎें เคชเค•เคก़เคจा

เคฌीเคตीเค•्เคฏों ?

เคธंเคคाเค…เคฐे เคคू เคชเค•เคก़ เคคो เคธเคนी เคเค• เคฌाเคฐ

เคฌीเคตीเคฏे เคฒो เคชเค•เคก़ เคฒिเคฏा

เคธंเคคाเค•ुเค› เคนुเค† ?

เคฌीเคตी - เคจเคนीं เคคो

เคธंเคคाเค…เคš्เค›ाเค‡เคธเค•ा เคฎเคคเคฒเคฌ เค•เคฐ्เคฐेंเคŸ เคฆूเคธเคฐी เคคाเคฐ เคฎें เคนै.

Tamil guy want to take his girlfriend on a dinner date.

Tamil guy want to take his girlfriend on a dinner date.

Guy: My dinner treat! Come to Babu Ganeshan.

Girl Friend: Come to what?

Guy: Babu Ganeshan, I say.

Girl Friend: I don't know this place. I'll come to
your house & you take me there.

Guy: You don't know Babu Ganeshan? Wokay,
I'll take you there.

Girl Friend and Guy both reach Babu Ganeshan.

Girl Friend: Damn you idiot!!! It's pronounced
as "Barbeque Nation!

Army Traning k dauran,

Army Traning k dauran, 

OFFICER ne SANTA se pucha:
'Ye Hath me kya he?'
SANTA:"Sir, Banduk he"
OFFICER :"Ye Banduk Nahi! Tumhari Izzat he, Shaan he. Ye Tumhari MAA hai MAA!"
Phir Officer ne dusre sipahi BANTA se pucha:"Ye Hath me kya he?"
BANTA:"Sir, ye Santa ki Maa hai aur sadi MASSI Hai MASSI 

Frienda are like aadhar card

Life is a Visiting Card,
Wife is a Memory Card,
pati  is  A T M  card
๐Ÿ‘ฐgirl  fnd is a  Debit  card
๐Ÿ™‹padosan  is  a  greeting  card
saali  is  a  Recharg  card
๐Ÿ‘ชMother  father  is  Pan  card
saala  is  a  " FARZI   CARD "
child  is  a   Identity  card
But Friends R "AADHAR" Card
Har jagah pe Kaam Aayege.

Punjaabiyaan di shaan wakhri..

 Punjaabiyaan di shaan wakhri..

Amritsar ch roads te cctv camera install kite gaye.

Savere police control room nu phone aaya -

Paaji zara lawrence road wale cctv vich dekh ke dass do ki chhole bhature wale di dukan khul gayi ke nahin ?

.. buuurraahhhh.

Pappu and her wife

เคชเคค्เคจी เค•ी เคฐोเคœ เคฐोเคœ เค•ी เคिเค•-เคिเค• เคธे เคชเคฐेเคถाเคจ เคชเคช्เคชू เค…เคชเคจा เคธाเคฎाเคจ เคฌांเคงเคคे เคนुเค เคฌोเคฒा -: เค…เคฌ เคคो เคฎैं เคคेเคฐे เคธाเคฅ เคเค• เคชเคฒ เคญी เคจเคนीं เคฐเคนूँเค—ा ..
เคชเคช्เคชू เคฐेเคฒเคตे เคธ्เคŸेเคถเคจ ๐Ÿšžเค—เคฏा, เคชเคช्เคชू เคŸ्เคฐेเคจ เคฎें เคšเคขเคจे เคฒเค—ा เคคเคญी เค†เค•ाเคถเคตाเคฃी เคนुเคˆ
"เค‡เคธเคฎें เคฎเคค เคšเคข ,เคฏे เคชเคŸเคฐी เคธे เค‰เคคเคฐ เคœाเคฏเค—ी "๐ŸšŸ
เคชเคช्เคชू เคเคฏเคฐ เคชोเคฐ्เคŸ เค—เคฏा
เคตो เคช्เคฒेเคจ เคฎें เคšเคขเคจे เคฒเค—ा เค•ि เค†เคตाเคœ เค†เคˆ เค‡เคธเคฎें เคฎเคค เคšเคขเคฏे เค•्เคฐैเคถ เคนो เคœाเคเค—ा"
เคชเคช्เคชू เคจे เคฌเคธ ๐ŸšŽเคฎें เคœाเคจे เค•ी เคธोเคšी เค•े เคซिเคฐ เค†เคตाเคœ เค†เคˆ"เค‡เคธเคฎें เคฎเคค เคšเคข เคฏे เค–ाเคˆ เคฎें เค—िเคฐ เคœाเคฏเค—ी"๐ŸšŽ
เคชเคช्เคชू เค—ुเคธ्เคธे เคธे เคฌोเคฒा-:"เค•ौเคจ เคนै เคฏाเคฐ?"
เค†เคตाเคœ เค†เคˆ -:" เคฎैं เคญเค—เคตाเคจ เคนूँ !"๐ŸŒž

เคชเคช्เคชू เคฐोเคคे เคนुเค เคฌोเคฒा -:," เคช्เคฐเคญु๐ŸŒž เคœเคฌ เคฎैं เค˜ोเฅœी เคชเคฐเคšเคข เคฐเคนा เคฅा เคคเคฌ เค†เคชเค•ा เค—เคฒा เคฌैเค  เค—เคฏा เคฅा เค•्เคฏा ..?